Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Holy sore nipples Batman
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
