i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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