you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
