Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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