We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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