have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji