yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.