It's like God shit irony all over that family
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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