Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.