he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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