Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
