she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
