So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize