he looks like a really good dad on facebook
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
But theres a keg here and me gusta
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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