Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We are two peas in an std pod
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
