At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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