she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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