i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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