dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
