Swine flu. Run for my life!
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
