I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
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I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
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Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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