DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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