i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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