woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I love having hate sex.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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