Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
