Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
