so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.