he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize