Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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