i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
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Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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