So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
