I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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