just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
