People with herpes should wear stickers.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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