all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
