I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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