she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
