God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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