you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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