I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
