Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
