Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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