I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
