Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
