You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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