I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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