Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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