If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
vagina is talking i cant
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I can't put those talents on a resume
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
