Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.