I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
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do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
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I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair