The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
That's how pantless uber rides happen