I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.