my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
