Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
