Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
