Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
