The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
