So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
