Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
