you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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