she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
