No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
wakey wakey hands off snakey
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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