Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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