Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(434): View more from Virginia

Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.

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(949): View more from California

She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.

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(212): View more from New York

You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.

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(925): View more from California

She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(703): View more from Virginia

This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him

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(404): View more from Georgia

What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?

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(410): View more from Maryland

She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?

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(813): View more from Florida

Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent

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