The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
