mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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