Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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