Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
