Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
