you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
