I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
this is an emotional support booty call
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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