When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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