Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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