I wish I could punch you in the face.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit