I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
