i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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