ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Randomize
