It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
