it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
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