week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
