Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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